Sometimes things in life are not always fluffy bunnies, rainbows, and butterflies. I try to thrive on writing about positive things in my life, but that would not be practical or relatable.
There have been awakenings in my life that are becoming more prominent with age. I have held onto rather unhealthy relationships in my life, we all have or experience them. My life does not equate as a higher placement than anyone else does. However, I do believe I have issues being an enabler of people’s weaknesses’ especially when it comes to using a person for their benefit. Trust me, close friends’ have told me I need to stop “being so nice” over the years. I am learning a healthy boundary amongst certain people in our life is okay. Years ago, I felt as if I was letting a person down if I did not bend over backward for them, though, I was feeling major discomfort. In most instances, I felt as if my actions to please that person was from my heart and would suffer whatever discomfort I endured. Thing is, would that person do the same for me? The likelihood was null. That does not mean I expect something in return every time I do something from my heart for someone. You know the genuine difference when that person’s intention or need is authentic. However, if that relationship is a one-way street, that can be incredibly dangerous to all parties.
There had been an uncomfortable and disappointing situation I was put in the middle of a few months ago. I was angry, hurt, disappointed, but of course, I was going to do anything for that person. It was revealed to me vividly in my heart, I need to speak up for myself, finally. One of the said parties ended the relationship between us because they were not getting what they needed. The old me would have blamed myself endlessly, trying to win the approval of that person back. I allowed myself to feel the emotions for a good solid 2 days before replying with a respectful letter, but strictly standing my ground, in love.
This journey has been extremely painful to deal with because that person was dear to me, but I hope I can see I am capable of loving even when sometimes we must part ways, whether with a family member or friend. We won’t please everyone in this lifetime. There are times we have to feed them with a long handled spoon, spoken wisdom of my grandmother.